They say time flies when you’re having fun, but it also flies when you’re just really, really busy.
I can’t believe it’s already been two months since we bid goodbye to our cozy New England apartment and moved to the other side of the world: Tianjin, China.
We’ve spent the past two months taking care of logistical details like transitioning to a new health insurance plan, obtaining visas, undergoing medical exams, moving into an apartment, learning to cross the street, and figuring out where to buy chicken.
Although it’s certainly been challenging to deal with at times, it’s definitely an adventure we’re embracing. We may never have another opportunity like this again, so we’re making the most of whatever comes our way. The people of China have been friendly and accommodating and we’re enjoying getting to know them.
So to keep you updated on our progress here, we thought we would highlight some of the more interesting lessons we’ve learned since arriving in China.
1.) Hong Kong is part of China … except for when it isn’t.
In 1997, Hong Kong rejoined mainland China as a special administrative territory. It functions under the motto “one country, two systems,” and maintains a high degree of administrative autonomy. Indeed, it has its own currency and customs status (so if you’re visiting China and plan a stop in Hong Kong, make sure you have a multi-entry visa for China as Hong Kong will actually count as leaving the country … even though you’re really not). But Beijing still maintains some control over the region as they have the power to veto changes to Hong Kong’s (mostly) democratic political system and also holds control over their foreign and defense policies.
2.) Look before you cross the street and then keep looking.
Most developing countries have interesting traffic habits. But Chinese streets are even more unique. Unlike some countries, China has well-maintained roads with clearly marked lane dividers. But don’t assume this means such boundaries will be observed. In China, the driver has the right-of-way, not the pedestrian (it’s still unclear to us whether this is an actual policy or merely a practice: regardless, its accurate). A good rule of thumb is to never cross the street alone, if you can help it. Crossing with a group increases the likelihood that a car might actually stop for you, or, at best, it decreases your chances of being the one who actually gets hit. Be smart, be safe. Don’t assume they’ll stop.
3.) Those aren’t clouds.
China’s smog issues are real. Odds are, the day isn’t as overcast as it looks. I’ll leave it at that.
4.) Don’t order a prostitute if you really want a chicken.
Mandarin Chinese uses four different tones. As a result, you can have a word that is essentially spelled the same, but because it is pronounced slightly differently (at least to the un-trained ear), it can actually mean something entirely different. We found this out the hard way one evening when Justin accidentally ordered a prostitute for our dinner, rather than a chicken.
5.) Take your shoes off when you enter a home.
This is a common Asian tradition and a sign of respect for one’s home. We really don’t practice it ourselves, but we have found that when we have Chinese guests over, they feel very uncomfortable entering our home in their (presumably) dirty shoes. Likewise, if you visit a Chinese person’s home, you should expect to remove your shoes, even if this is not your personal preference.
6.) Chinese like to keep rooms much warmer than we’re used to.
For some reason, Chinese associate being cold with being sick or unhealthy. As a result, they serve food and beverages warmer than we’re used to. They also keep their building temperatures quite warm, no matter what time of year! I spent the past 4 1/2 years freezing to death in my office at work and now everywhere I go, I am sweating!
7.) If it looks like calimari … it’s not.
Likewise, if it looks like intestines, it is! There certainly are more “parts of the animal” to choose from here than we’re used to back home — and some you really don’t want to eat!
8.) Saving face is important.
No one likes to be embarassed, but in China, that’s taken to an extreme. No one wants to admit if they cannot do something or if they do not understand what you are saying. As a result, they may agree to something when they actually cannot complete the task or they really do not know the answer. It’s important to be very specific in phrasing your questions and to be careful not to intentionally embarass someone.
9.) If you invent fireworks, use them — a lot!
China is obsessed with fireworks. It seems every day there is some new cause for celebration. Be it a wedding, a newborn baby, a national holiday, or a home team win, they are always — I mean daily — setting off fireworks here. Day or night, rain or shine, it matters not. There’s always something to celebrate.
10.) Give up your seat to children, parents with babies, the elderly, or people with disabilities on the train.
This is a really great practice that more countries should model. When a woman carrying a young child boards a train, men and women alike immediately rise to give her their seat. I had never in my life seen a teenage boy willingly relinquish his seat to another person before coming to China. Take note, America.
11.) Think China is a developing nation? Think again.
China is the world’s second largest economy for a reason. In our community alone, nearly every Fortune 500 company in the world has a facility here. And China is not just about manufacturing products and shipping them to other parts of the globe. In many sectors, China plays a key role in the design and development of new products. In addition, the Chinese are increasingly becoming consumers of the very products they manufacture (i.e. Apple), so much of the manufacturing that occurs here is for Chinese, not foreign, customers. The country also has developed a highly efficient high-speed rail system over recent years that has served to link the country’s key economic centers together, spurring commerce further.
12.) Don’t wear a green hat. Just don’t.
It means your wife is cheating on you. I don’t know why, it just does.
13.) The number 4 is hard to come by. And for good reason.
It means death. No one wants a phone number with a 4 in it.
14.) All the beer tastes the same.
And it’s not really that good. We miss the craft breweries in the Northeast!
15.) Honking at another car isn’t a sign of road rage.
It means “Hey dude, I’m here! Let’s not kill each other , eh?” How nice.
16.) It’s normal to see a baby’s butt hanging out.
Frustrated by the outrageous cost of diapers? One of the oldest civilizations in the world may have wisdom to impart to us. In China, babies wear little onesies with an open butt area so that parents can easily take them to the side of the road or sidewalk to “wee” them. Although it’s definitely a sight that takes some getting used to, it definitely beats paying hundreds of dollars in diapers every year!
17.) Moon Cakes are not my favorite.
Moon cakes are a cake-like substance filled with fruit, nuts, dates, and other unidentifiable goodies that are enjoyed every year during October’s Moon Festival, signaling the arrival of Fall. They’re kind of like a Chinese version of the American fruit cake. They look like they would be delicious, but they’re just not my favorite.
18.) Relationships matter.
In China, it’s all about who you know — or if you’re unlucky, who you don’t. Chinese culture places a significant emphasis on “Guan xi,” or one’s personal network and connections. These connections determine your educational and career prospects and shape how quickly (if ever!) you’ll rise up the ladder. In China, it is most appropriate to be introduced to a new business connection through a mutual contact, rather than by cold-calling or just walking up and introducing yourself. The status of the person who introduces you will significantly affect how others view you — so choose wisely.
Phew! We’ve actually learned quite a bit about Chinese culture for only having been here two months. I hope that you’ve also learned something new about China as a result of our experiences. We look forward to sharing more of our insights and experiences with you over the coming months.
Have you spent time in China? What cultural observations can you share?
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Feature image credit
CreditDonkey
Hi Ellen,
This is very interesting! You’re right, I’ve also learned a lot from your observations. How disappointing about the moon cakes and I would so love to have one!
I would imagine there must be a shortage of green hats in China if that’s what it means by wearing them.:)
Maria
Hands down, #4 is the best lesson. Laughed so hard I spit coffee and cried. Thanks for making my day.
Ellen
Authorhaha, if you think it was funny to read, you should have seen it in person! The look on Justin’s face when he realized he had just asked the waiter, “When will our prostitute be ready?” Priceless!
Tim
You don’t like MOON CAKES???? LOL They are the chinese version of fruit cake!
I have had them in Thailand because my wife likes them. I think they are ok, but not at the top of the list of sweets I like. 
Great post by the way! 
Ellen
Authorlol, nope, can’t stand ’em! They look like they would be good … but then … not so much. I don’t like fruit cake either, so perhaps that’s why! Thanks for dropping by, Tim.
D.J. - The World of Deej
The green hat thing…really? The Hong Kong point has also puzzled me ever since the hand over.
Ellen
AuthorDeej — that’s what we learned in our cultural training pre-departure. Haven’t heard it mentioned since we’ve been here … but then again, we haven’t seen any green hats, either!
Natasha von Geldern
Fascinating stuff, especially the green hat 😉 Loving reading about your adventures in China!
Ellen
AuthorThanks, Natasha!
Megan
Thanks for the laugh! Justin ordering a prostitute for dinner? Priceless.
Ellen
AuthorI believe the exact quote was, “Where is my prostitute?”
Andrea
I really enjoyed this, guys - learned a lot. I’m impressed that you picked up on so many of the more obscure ones in such a short time! Looking forward to more =)
Ellen
AuthorThanks, Andrea. Hoping to learn more as we go along and to be challenged, as well.
Steve
The Mandarin for ‘green hat’ sounds very similar to ‘cuckold’,hence the association with cheating. Back in the Yuan dynasty relatives of prostitutes (not chickens) were forced to wear a green hat.
Kerri
Good read… number 4 is hilarious and the green hat thing is just weird
Angela
I’ve lived one year in China and miss it so much. True, they love fireworks and firecrackers, literally every single day in my compound there was some noisy celebration going on, speaking of “silent Chinese”!!
Also, it makes me laugh in Italy as we have a phone network promotion that gives very cheap rates for calling China and other “third world countries”. Seriously, not even in twenty years will Italy reach the efficiency and level of organization China has now…
Ellen
AuthorYes, it’s unbelievable how advanced China is, and how they have arrived at such a place so quickly. Quite impressive. I know parts of rural China are less developed, but that’s the case in any country. Chinese cities are truly a marvel.
Elmer Cruz
Interesting culture filled with contradictions.
Joy
These are great. I can’t believe I haven’t written a post like this yet. I’ve lived in China for nearly 2 years and it was not what I was expecting. Yet I want to stay for another year. When I talk about China it seems that I don’t like it. There aren’t THAT many positive things to say are there?? But actually I’m so fascinated by it.
I love #15. So true but it can still get under my skin on bad China days.
I liked moon cakes at first but this year i found them gross. I don’t understand why they’re always packaged. You can never find them fresh.
I’ve also learned that the Chinese are very selfish people and that is maybe their biggest problem as a society.
Ellen
AuthorJoy —
It depends on what country you are from and therefore which culture you are comparing to China, but in our case, I don’t think there are two cultures that are more different from each other than America and China. I have actually come to really appreciate that aspect of China — how different it is from America. I mean, sure, there are things that China does differently that make me miss how America does it, but I am constantly making observations here in China where I find myself saying, “Wow, America should really take a lesson from such and such aspect of Chinese culture or their economy.” There is a reason China will surpass America as the world’s economic superpower within the next decade.
I’m not sure what you mean by the Chinese being selfish … I think selfishness is something that you will encounter in any culture (for example, I cannot think of a more selfish part of the U.S. than where I live in New England) but I would not use that to generalize that all people from a particular country or region are selfish. In the case of China, I think they are much more focused on the good of the whole as opposed to advancing the individual than American culture is, for example. I also have encountered nothing but generosity from the Chinese I have spent time with. I don’t mean to negate your own experience, but just want to clarify that it has not been mine.
Thanks for your comments, and I do hope you stick around for another year!
Edna
Sounds like the Tianjin metro must be from another universe! I rarely saw any acts of kindness on the subway — I know no one else does either because subway rudeness is constantly being griped about by the Shanghai and Beijing expats on twitter
Ellen
AuthorIt wasn’t on the metro that I have made this observation, but rather the train between cities. I have only been on the Beijing metro, and while it is crowded and you have to keep an eye out for pickpockets (like anywhere), but I have made observations where men, in particular, gave their seat up for women. If I took the subway every day, maybe I would have a different opinion.
BlogDaz
I can relate a few of points to Thailand, take off your shoes, honking the horn to let other drivers know you are here, saving face. Chinese culture is often reflected in Thailand, and I guess China has heavily influenced Thai culture.
Abby
Oh my! I actually remember the baby thing from my trip to China many years ago. Thanks for the reminder (lol) So glad you guys are adjusting!
Koren @ City Gal
Hehe, this made me laugh. Don’t order a prostitute if you want chicken! We have a lot of Chinese-speaking clients and have had some similar mixups over mispronunciations with interpreters!! This is a good little Chinese survival guide. I’ll be sure to reread before I head that way! 😉
Andrew
I totally get that sense of time flies when you are really busy. I really don’t remember much of the last three weeks.
This list is pretty neat. Amazing how many things are actually similar to Germany.
Christina
Ah what a great list! I lived in Nanjing for a while, and I had exactly the opposite experience with #6 - nobody put the heating on, and it was really freezing!
The thing with the baby butts was really odd, yes, and it definitely took some getting used to !